I left that night feeling at my lowest.
The next week went by in a blur, so bare with me as I try to muster up at least a little bit of the action (;
LB’s surgery was on Monday. We arrived at the hospital around 6 that morning, watched her go back at 7:30 and we did not see her again until about 8:30 that night.
That day, still exhausts me to think about. (catch up here if you missed it)
Tuesday was great – a lot better than I imagined. I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day (a complete 360 from the night before – thank you Xanax). We eagerly walked in the room to find LB laying on her side.
laying on her side!
This child just underwent OPEN HEART SURGERY and she was rolled onto her side sleeping!
My concern must have been written all over my face because the nurse turned around to us, took one look at me, and said, “She was determined to roll over all by herself.”
My immediate reaction was, of course, this is LB – she does what she wants! But I was afraid that it was causing her pain. The nurse quickly reassured us that if she was in any pain, she’d let us know. True, LB had a way with letting us know if she wasn’t up for something.
I was so amazed at how well she seemed to be doing.
Other than tubes coming off of, what seemed like, every part of her body – she looked great! Peacefully sleeping.
Amazingly, she would open her eyes anytime her Daddy would lean down and speak to her. I admit, I was jealous, but it was extremely adorable.
We went into surgery with the doctors telling us to expect lung complications, because she had been aspirating while eating, which led to some fluid accumulating in her lungs. They warned us that she would, more than likely, take a few days longer than “normal” to get off of the breathing machine, she would need medicine to help clear her lungs, and her heart would be prone to “spasms” from the dramatic change.
but she didn’t.
She amazed the doctors, the nurses, and even us
But, I know why.
From the moment we started sharing LB’s story online, through facebook & this blog, she gained so many prayer warriors.
There have been so many people who have put her on prayer lists at churches, at their groups, and kept her in their prayers at home.
I know, going into surgery, there were so many people lifting up her name. There was no way God couldn’t hear us all chanting from below.
She came out of surgery without the extra assistance for her lungs, without the medication, and without the doubts that this was more than she could handle.
Because she did. She handled open heart surgery like a boss! She completely rocked it.
So, we ended that Tuesday on a high note.
Seeing her calmed all my fears. I looked at her laying there and felt so silly for doubting her, for doubting God. They had this under control all along. I was just too overcome with emotions to see that.
But, that day, looking at her. I knew everything would be okay.
And, it was – but that doesn’t mean it was always picture perfect.
Again, we left to stay the night at a hotel. After my first night, and seeing how much easier it was to handle the day by coming in refreshed and re-energized, it wasn’t as hard to leave her (However, no matter how comfortable we would come with leaving her at night – it still never felt right. We never felt whole until we were back with her again.)
I knew she was in good hands. And, honestly, there wasn’t anything I could do to help her even if I wanted to.
Wednesday morning came and J and I, once again, anxiously strolled into the hospital.
I remember giddily chit-chatting during our walk through the building. We were both so excited to see her again. To see her progress and to be with her.
We had made it, smiles on our face, ready to start another day full of even more improvements.
But, that’s not what happened.
I will never forget that moment when we walked through her doors and stopped dead in our tracks.