I once had a conversation, with a very entitled man, that will forever be ingrained in my mind.
It was 7 years ago.
I was a new mom, wife, and homeowner.
He came by to congratulate us on our baby and began talking about a friend’s wife and just how “disgustingly lazy” she was…
Her husband worked – she did not.
All she did was stay at home with the kids all day, some were even old enough for school, and she…wait for it…
STAYED IN HER PAJAMAS ALL DAY LONG!!
How atrocious, right?? How dare her…
That was it. That was his final point. His argument for her being disgustingly lazy was that:
1. She didn’t work (because we all know that staying home and raising children is not work… **insert eye roll here**)
AND, worst of all…
2. She wore pajamas (you know, instead of dirtying up more clothes that no one else would see and adding to her mysteriously regrowing pile of laundry)
I clearly remember looking at him dumbfounded and thinking, “I am so glad I changed my clothes before he got here.”
Because, let’s be honest…
I am that disgustingly lazy mom.
Heck, I was her and my baby wasn’t even a month old! You can only imagine how more disgusting and more lazy I’ve become now that she’s 7 and we’ve added two more kids to the mix…
I mean, seriously, there are some days I wear the same pajamas twice …gasssp
Rewind to that day, and my dumbfounded look, I just sat there and nodded my head in agreeance, thanking God I changed my clothes so he couldn’t judge me.
I’d like to say I’ve changed since then (No, I don’t mean my clothes. For heavens sake people, yes – I have changed my pajamas at least a few times within the past seven years).
And, I’m not talking about changing my disgustingly lazy habit.
Honestly, by the end of the day, I think that’s a habit I have well deserved.
I am talking about having changed my value on other’s opinions of me and how I “mom.”
Because, honestly, from afar… my momming looks like a hot mess.
But, it’s my mess.
My wonderfully, chaotic mess that I am still in control of.
most the time…
I wish I could say that I don’t feel a twinge of remorse when people stumble into my house unannounced (or even announced, because 98% of the time I’m not changing my clothes even if you warn me you’re coming over…) and find me in my sweats and a tank top.
And, dark under eye circles that are almost classified as a black hole…
That’s what you will find me rocking, in full mom mode, when you walk into my house.
And, I can’t say that I’m “proud” of it.
There are always those quick moments before, or after, someone walks through the door that I wish I would’ve changed.
Or cleaned the house.
Or done an extra load of laundry.
Or at least put in some oils so that the house didn’t smell like musty cheetos.
But, that’s my life.
I should be proud of so many things.
There are things we go through on a daily basis that no one else sees, no pats on the back, no moment of “you’re doing great” when you feel like you are failing.
Instead of focusing on all that we do accomplish in a day, all we (and I say we because us mom dish out the hardest criticisms, especially to ourselves) see is a tired mom in pajamas who couldn’t even get dressed that morning.
I wish I could go back and have the confidence to tell him that she probably was running off of 4 hours of sleep. That she may have been up all night with a sick child. Or that she jumped out of bed so quickly to the sound of her alarm clock that it never even crossed her mind to change her clothes.
I wish that people would be a little more considerate towards moms.
We all do it differently.
Some moms can look put together & still manage to keep their kids alive. Others are just lucky that they got to flush the toilet in peace.
Whatever it is, however they look, whenever you see them… they are working hard.
So, I say
ROCK your pajamas mom!
ROCK the fact that you don’t have a bra on (because, isn’t that the main reason we stay in pajamas all day long?!)
ROCK it all.
They’re going to find flaws in you anyway… the least you can do is be comfortable while they do it (;